Can’t Modesty Be Both/And?

I’m a fan of modesty. I’m a fan of purity. I’m believe both are very much a part of the Lord’s plan for our lives. I believe that it is one of the most difficult things to manage in today’s society — especially if we claim Christ as Lord.

It’s hard enough to manage our own issues. How in the world do we help our sons and daughters navigate through this insanity? I don’t have all the answers for sure but I do enjoy reading about the subject and have read many blogs, books and articles. I’ve noticed most modesty/purity articles seem to place blame on either the warped male mind or the trashy girls. I can’t help but wonder if we’ve missed the obvious.

I just read a blog post someone posted on Facebook. The blog was well written and I pretty much agreed with all the writer communicated. She was basically bashing young girls who post provocative pics of themselves on social media. She referenced their less than modest dress, the seductive faces and whatnot. She said that she would de-friend, un-like, cut-off these type girls from her sons social media. I’m understanding her perspective. Then she proceeded to post beach pics of her boys, shirtless and making muscle poses. While they were obviously not intended to be seductive it was rather comical given the content of the post. I actually enjoyed reading the follow-up comments more than the blog. Needless to say, the author was attacked multiple times for her “double-standard.” I hated it for her because the article was pretty good. Most comments were hating on guys or hating on the girls. Which makes me wonder.

Are we missing the obvious?

Can’t we all share the blame?

I wonder if our focus is off.

Shouldn’t we teach our girls to be modest for the sake of Christ rather than for the protection of the male population? Shouldn’t they seek purity out of obedience to the Word rather than out of fear of being seen as an object? I do feel it’s important for my girls to understand how the male mind works. The male mind was designed by our perfect creator by the way. His design is not flawed. I do believe in teaching responsibility… kindness, if you will. I want my girls to have a proper appreciation for the male mind and desire to be sensitive to it. They need to know that their value is in Christ not in the way they are viewed by society– whether bad OR good.

At the same time, shouldn’t we teach our boys to guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus– not because they are filthy creatures (not talking dirt here, they are absolutely dirt magnets) but because they want to honor the Lord in every thought and deed? Shouldn’t the focus be Jesus? I do think we should teach our boys to protect their eyes against all the images the world is constantly throwing at them. While there will always be images bombarding them, they alone bear the responsibility for their hearts and minds. It will likely be a lifelong battle. It is a battle worth fighting.

Can’t we seek to honor the opposite sex through esteeming others more highly than ourselves? 

Can’t we stop throwing the opposite gender under the bus?

Let’s take proper responsibility for own actions, attitudes and thoughts.


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