Advice For A New Mom… A Letter to Jordan!

l write this blog… primarily for you, Jordan 🙂 because there is so much out there. So much by well intended people who live in never-land. I’ll also say that I’m no expert- Yeah… I should be after 6 babies… but I’m not. Here are a few things to consider as you wait to welcome your baby girl into the world:

  • Survive. You have to listen to your intuition and pray a lot. The Lord has and will continue to equip you for this great task. You’ll do great!
  • Sleep- I know many will disagree with me. I have to have sleep, Jordan. End of discussion. I chose to let baby sleep with me. My favorite tool is the nursing nest. Bar-none worth every dollar (and buy a couple extra covers). It allows the baby to be right next to you with a little separation to provide extra safety and security. I typically would put the baby down in his/her bed and when they wake I would let them nurse and we’d both fall asleep. Worked for me…
  • Blankets- I LOVE this swaddling blanket. Not all babies like to be swaddled… but all but one of mine did. Have plenty of thin receiving blankets… they will function like burp cloths… changing areas… and coverups.
  • Nursing- Regardless of how you  may feel about nursing that baby girl. I highly encourage you to give her your best shot. It can be difficult to get the hang of it… but remember who designed the whole process. Don’t be afraid to get help from a lactation consultant. It’s FREE, healthy and convenient. Get some type of wrap around nursing cover like these. I found one at Target I loved!
  • Take advice with a grain of salt- So many well intended people will give you more information than you can imagine. Smile, thank them and let them know you’ll ponder their advice. Then go about your life. There will be times you hear something really great… and you’ll know it 🙂
  • We always picked ours up when they cry. There was a popular book called “Baby Wise”.  It tells us to let them cry it out and so on and so forth. A well intended family member gave us book 1 and 2. I knew in my spirit it was junk from the moment we started reading. Since then the AAP has come out against the book and to my knowledge it’s the first book they’ve been so strong about. I have this theory that since babies have lived in their mommies tummies for so long they no nothing else and therefore just want to be near them… all the time. They have only known the dark, warmth of her body… the soothing of her voice and movement. Then they get popped out into our bright, loud & busy world… what a shock. We expect them to have wads of diapers shoved between their little legs, clothes on and people kissin’ on them. No wonder they get ill. Hold her, Jordan… don’t let anyone tell you different. It won’t spoil her (well… maybe a little)… she won’t be “too dependent”… HELLO, she already is!… you won’t regret holding her!
  • Being over tired or over stimulated- I found that all my babies would get discombobulated when others messed with them too much… you know all those well intended visits. They would get out of their groove and would often get too tired. At that point we would have to swaddle up, go into a dimly lit room, snuggle and eat. It would take some patience but they would settle down and feel secure and at peace. I know I have tended to be a little (ok… a LOT) over protective… but I’m ok with it 🙂
  • Taking her out and about- I know many folks say don’t take them out the first 6 weeks. I get it. But I had a fantastic pediatrician give me advice that I abided by and it worked very well. Once baby girl is born, she will have your immunity. She will still have it those first 6 weeks. She will begin loosing it and will start building her own around 5/6  months. That is the point you need to be more cautious. You don’t have to be crazy… just aware.
  • Those people that feel they can rub your tummy will also think they can touch your baby. Let me just say, I HATE this. You’ll be surprised how many people will ask to hold her. I just always say, “No” in a “nice” way. I tell kids to touch her feet because she puts her hands in her mouth. I found at church (just bein’ honest) people really wanted to pass her around. I would keep her buckled in her car seat and that would prevent a lot of that. I know people are usually well intended and will want to hug and kiss on your new miracle… I was just always overly cautious… especially with Boy1.
  • Take time to enjoy each moment with her and with your husband… the time moves far too quickly…. pray for her,  hold her, sing to her…

I’m so proud of you, Jordan- the woman you have become… the mother you will be. Come visit me in New Orleans! I love you!

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4 thoughts on “Advice For A New Mom… A Letter to Jordan!

  1. Love the advice!:) My youngun’s slept/sleep with me:) They’re fine…I found that I’m a super light sleeper when it comes to having the baby in the bed…I put my arm under their head so that way I know they’re there and I won’t roll over them. It’s sooo much easier to nurse and go back to sleep (once you both get the hang of it..if you choose to nurse..which I also highly recommend! lol) I read some of the baby wise book…I thought the same thing..it’s a baby! Love him or her…they’re only small for a short while.

    We were at a conference when Joshua was about a month old and this total stranger let me know that she’d hold him when I got tired of holding him…uh..A. I don’t know you for one thing..are you gonna just sit there and hold him or are you a crazy psycho lady who is going to get him and run…B. He’s 5 lbs…maybe 6….I’m not going to get tired of holding him:) C. it was a good excuse to go to the nursing room to get away! lol I was very polite but all these thoughts were running through my head:)

    Also, if you do choose to nurse…don’t let anyone tell you when to quit….you will both know. I like what Dr. Sears said..I don’t remember exactly:) But it’s something like if the need is there fulfill it…when the need is gone then the desire will go away. I had several people tell me to stop nursing…or it was gross…or whatever but seriously, with Josiah that realllllly was a blessing and helped him…with all his stomach issues to begin with…and later we found out he’s allergic to cow’s milk! And, while I’m at it:) Don’t feel bad if you have to formula feed:) I had to do that with Josiah and at first I felt horrible…but he wasn’t gaining weight because of his stomach blockage..my nerves were so bad that my supply was low…so the formula helped him put on some weight.

    Send me a message if you have nursing questions..I have some tips that really helped me. I have no idea if you’re planning on nursing or not…but it’s kind of a little much for a blog:)

    Super excited for you and your husband!:)
    Misti

    • And, if you have a rocking chair…rock her:) Good times right there…rocking..nursing/bottle feeding…reading books. My mom told me that her mom used to rock all her babies (7 of them)…the house wouldn’t be spotless…don’t get me started there:) but the babies were taken care of and loved

  2. You, my dear sister, are such a sweet blessing to my heart. Your words are a humbling reminder that I must remain human at all times. You know me well enough to know that I struggle with living in my visionary ideals of perfection and feeling completely defeated and “less of a woman” when life just doesn’t work that way. I find myself in situational dialogue with Jason on multiple occassions a week, saying what I’m “going to do” and “not going to do” all the while the Holy Spirit is whispering sweet little laughters of “don’t you say what tomorrow will hold… it’s only by the grace of God that you’ll do SQUAT!” I cannot allow my ideals to interrupt “survival.” THANK YOU for this reminder… I’ll need it again in approximately 3 1/2 – 4 months : )

    I have registered for an obscene amount of swaddling blankets and pray that our little Selah loves them as much as I love the idea of them!

    Nursing is another thing I pray she will take to with great tenacity (in the literal sense : ) I love everything about the thought of being able to nurse… free food!, bonding with mama, comfort for her, the nutritional/health value… the list goes on. I want to pump and try to allow her the opportunity to adapt the the bottle and the breast for the main reason of bonding time with Daddy. (more advice for another day : )

    I LOVE unsolicited and requested advice when it’s from loving motives and not from a judgemental, higher minded bent. I could talk for hours with veteran moms, cause guess what… I don’t know diddly (and baby sitting diaper babies from the age of 14 and up doesn’t count.) There will always be meat to take away from boney advice. I’m sure I’ll dig through the bones on a later date and find things that I shouldn’t have thrown out to begin with.

    Don’t even get me started on Ezzo. I’ve been tempted on multiple occassions to go through Books-A-Million where my husband works and burn them all. I’d risk incarceration for that. When I’m crying for any reason whatsoever (whether it be selfish, pain, or emotional distress), I STILL want to be held and comforted and loved. That’s because I’m a human and God made me that way. I can’t imagine how much more a baby NEEDS that touch when I so desperately want it as an adult. I don’t believe that any child will ever be able to understand the concept of God’s grace and mercy or the justification that He gave us through His Son (removing the guilt of condemnation) when we try to “beat the guilt out of them through harder spankings until they get it.” I do believe that God gave us the wisdom of “sparing the rod spoils the child” for a reason, however to use it as a means of removing guilt or bringing justice to a behavior doesn’t really line up with the Word. I’m sure there is some meat in there… somewhere.

    The over-stimulation is a lesson I fear I will be learned the hard way for me… as the nagging reminder in the back of my mind plagues me as we’re surrounded by those I love. I love people. A lot. I’m an extravert and desperately want (sometimes need for sanity purposes) people around me as much as possible. Baby does not. I’ve seen this happen TOO many times with dear friends’ little ones. The baby is passed around, kissed, pinched, snuggled, woken up, given back to mama, deserted, then the misery for all (excluding those who were able to temporarily enjoy her) begins. This is definitely something I’m going to have to practice MAJOR self control in. *deep breath*

    I have never heard the 5/6 month immunity bit. The 6 weeks of seclusion, yes. I am thankful for the potential freak-out heads up and sparing from isolation!

    Baby wearing is another “hands-on” preventative : ) I think Jason will be much more anal about this one than I… he’s borderline OCD (seriously.) However, I have no qualms with presenting a blunt “no” every once in a while… as I’m sure you know.

    I so pray that I do not slip into the distractions that Satan throws at me now and will throw at me then to pull me away from the moment. This moment is all we are given, and it is so easy to be so consumed with the future that the present is completely missed. Life is busy. Life is busy with no children. Please remind me of this frequently… enjoy the moments. It’s so easy to forget when life is happening.

    Thank you for being real with the world. Thank you for sharing your life and wisdom, your failures and treasures to help encourage and direct others. You are one of the reasons this brick wall has any shape or form of vulnerability, and I am forever grateful for that. I would so love to come visit your beautiful family in NOLO in the not so distant future. I’d love for you to know Jason. I think he’s pretty great. I’d love for him to know y’all, cause you guys are pretty great, too : )

    Thank you, again, so much for taking the time to pour into me. I sure do hope none of it leaks.

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