“Are All Those Kids Yours!!??”

NO… I gather up all the neighbor kids and go shopping... (I need this t-shirt!)

4 of my 6Seriously! Don’t you just love that? It’s one of the most obnoxious things people say to me. It happens on a regular basis. It’s pretty funny when I only have 4 with me… depending on my mood I may say, “Yes!! And I have 2 more at home!” Shock and awe.

I’ll share one of my favorite stories.

So we had just had our 4th child. He was around a week old. I had all 4 children out for the first time after Boy3’s birth. I went to the grocery… Ingles to be exact. I had a “super-cart” and we were ready to go. They are holding the sides of the cart, walking patiently and sweetly as I shop. It couldn’t have been going more smoothly. I’m walking down by the pickles and this lady stops, stares, gawks, and says in a disgusted tone, “Are ALL those kids yours!?” Ugh. I smile a fake sort of smile and say, “Yes… they are :)” To which she replies, “Do they ALL have the same dad?” I was shocked. So shocked I could only say, “Yes.” As if that wasn’t enough, she points to Boy2 (by the way, he was nearly a white-blonde at the time and we all have dark hair) and says, “Even that one?”… “Yes, Ma’am… EVEN that one.” Really!? Really!!!! I was fighting back tears at that point. I went home, unloaded groceries and called my Mom. She told me I should have said, “Yes, they all have the same dad but we’re not sure about the mom.” Wish I would have had the where-with-all to have said that… haha!

So for all the parents of large families, here are a few things we secretly (or not so much so) dislike:

  • Do you know what causes that?
  • Are you having any more?
  • You’re finished… right?
  • You’re hands are full!
  • I couldn’t have that many kids!
  • How do you spend equal time with all of your kids
  • How will you pay for college?
  • I’m glad it’s you and not me
  • How do you do it all

Feel free to add on your favorite comments!

My favorite answers (some of which I’ve not been brave enough to use)

  • We’ve got it narrowed down to 2 things…
  • These are all the biological children we will have
  • Yes, my hands are full… but it beats the alternative
  • I couldn’t have this many kids if they acted like your kids (One day, they will catch me in a foul mood, and I’ll use this one)
  • I don’t spend equal time with every kid, every day..
  • I have NO intention on paying for college…
  • I’m glad it’s me and not you too 🙂
  • I just don’t do it as well as you

I recently heard a dad of 10 or so on a radio broadcast and his response to the “How many kids do you have” question. I am going to steal his answer…. he and his wife say, “We only have 10.” It kind of changes the tone doesn’t it?

So you ask… how many children do I have?….. “I only have 6.”

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
(Psalms 127:3-5 ESV)


8 thoughts on ““Are All Those Kids Yours!!??”

  1. When it became apparent that I was expecting our fourth I began getting these *lovely* comments. I swear the next person who asks if I know how that happens is going to hear me say, “Yes, we do! I see that you have so few children. My husband is quite good at it. Would you like him to give yours some pointers?” Most frequently I get a “well bless your heart” and I say, “Yes, I AM very blessed.” When people tell me I’ve got my hands full I steal a line from a blog I read and say, “Yes, and my heart, too!”

    I always think it’s best to let them know I totally value and love having each and every one of them!

    • So the “do you know what causes that” thing… isn’t that a personal type question? I mean i DO know the answer… and i DON”T want to discuss that with most people (and I don’t mind being frank)… especially a MAN. I’m so embarrassed when a man says that. duh.

  2. I had some laugh out loud moments while reading this great post! 🙂 I need your mom around to feed me lines like “Yes, they all have the same dad but we’re not sure about the mom.” I wish I also had the where with all to say things like “I’m glad it’s you and not me too.” Haha!

    SO many people say things to me as a single person that I often have no response for until later. Recently a lady walked up to me at a restaurant and said, “You’re Kim, right?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Well, you mom and I tried to set you up, but you decided to move.” Really? She couldn’t say you mom and I are friends, or I met you at such and so place. I couldn’t believe her audacity. I didn’t really have anything to say at the time. The ironic part about it was that I was meeting a friend for lunch, who just happened to be the ex-girlfriend of the guy this lady and my mom wanted to set me up with. I’m actually thinking about writing a regular blog column about things you shouldn’t say to single folks. I’ve heard them all, like you’ve heard all the mom of several kids lines. I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing that I have nothing to say or if these people might need a little kick-back so that they’ll stop saying such ridiculous things.

    • Kim, you’re precious! I’m sure there are MANY “single” lines I’ve not heard! I say… write them down! One friend commented on FB about this post. She seemed to think I was bitter about these things. Honestly, I’m not. Well… I’m mostly hurt by family members- who have been with my kids- that’s what hurts… but that’s a different discussion :)… I have had people tell me, “people don’t know they are being offensive”… “they don’t mean anything by it” and such… Yeah, I get that. However, we (Christians) need to be aware that rude words hurt. Just like I don’t go around asking, “Why do you only have 1 kid…” (I may think it… but at least I don’t say it :)… haha!

  3. Michelle you are so funny! And to think since I have started reading your blog that I am sad that I “only have 2.” Your family seems so fun and loving. Makes me wish the Lord would have planned to give me six. I love the statement from Traci! Yes my hands are full and my HEART TOO!!! Gonna have to steal that one also.

  4. I love it Michelle! People can be pretty unkind and uncool about the things they say that’s for sure. The other word might be “opinionated” about things that aren’t their business. Words should build up and seasoned with grace, right? Well, as for the Thomases, you know how we feel about all “6” of your children. We have friends that have five and just adopted two twin baby girls from Ethopia. What a blessing. Children are truly a gift from the Lord. By the way Chelle, Happy Mother’s Day to one of the most devoted and loving mothers I have had the privilege and blessing of knowing. Love you friend, Gin

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